RECOMMENDED ADULT BOOKS FOR GAY, LESBIAN AND SINGLE PARENTS WHO CONCEIVE CHILDREN THROUGH ASSISTED REPRODUCTIVE TECHNOLOGIES
Compiled from Various Sources as of May 2024 by Colleen M. Quinn, Esq., The Adoption & Surrogacy Law Center, Fellow – AAAA & AAARTA, www.quinnlawcenters.com
LGBTQ Family Building: A Guide for Prospective Parents (APA LifeTools Series)
This book provides LGBTQ parents and prospective parents with the detailed, evidence-based knowledge they need to navigate the transition to parenthood, and help their children thrive. Dr. Abbie E. Goldberg, psychologist, and researcher, uses the results of her LGBTQ Family Building Project to help challenge traditional beliefs that have often been weaponized against LGBTQ people to prevent or discourage them from becoming parents. Dr Goldberg walks readers through the various steps and decision points in becoming a parent, describes key research findings on family building, and offers key questions and reader-friendly checklists to easily enable readers to evaluate the LGBTQ friendliness and overall “fit” of adoption agencies, health care providers, day cares, and other institutions.
- By: Abbie E. Goldberg
- Publication: APA LifeTools, 2022
- Intended for Parents
- Available on Amazon
Journey to Same-Sex Parenthood: Firsthand Advice, Tips, and Stories from Lesbian and Gay Couples
Same-sex couples are faced with many different options when choosing to have children today. In Journey to Same-Sex Parenthood, author, activist, and father Eric Rosswood guides and helps prospective LGBT parents to explore these five popular options: Adoption, Foster Care, Assisted Reproduction, Surrogacy and Co-Parenting. Each section includes a description of the specific family-building approach, followed by personal stories from same-sex couples and individuals who have chosen and gone through that particular journey. The appendix contains important legal issues to consider and questions to ask before deciding to move forward, along with a list of reasons why people may choose each of the five family-building paths and the challenges they may encounter.
- By: Eric Rosswood
- Publisher: New Horizon Press (February 23, 2016)
- Available at Amazon.com
The Journey of Same-Sex Surrogacy: Discovering Ultimate Joy
Surrogacy is a gift that allows couples and individuals, who may not be able to have children traditionally, an opportunity to become parents. The Journey of Same-Sex Surrogacy gives others hope that they, too, can have a family. It’s a book about possibilities and dreams that details the trials along the way. Jason Warner and his partner, deMarco, eagerly want to start the next chapter of their life together. They discover they could each possibly have a biological child that would also be a fraternal twin to the other through a surrogate mother using in vitro fertilization (IVF). Although it’s a new field with few resources, Warner walks readers through this journey of discovery, sharing life-changing decisions, answering many questions, and providing several resources while also including stories of others. He also offers valuable information on legal and medical issues that couples face when pursuing surrogacy.
- By: Jason Warner
- Publisher: Zygote Publishing (December 17, 2013)
- Available at Amazon.com
And Baby Makes More (Known Donor)
And Baby Makes More: Known Donors, Queer Parents, and Our Unexpected Families explores the role of the “known donor” in the queer family structure: what happens when would-be dyke moms or gay dads ask a friend or acquaintance to donate sperm or an egg, or to act as a surrogate? A quirky, funny, and occasionally heartbreaking collection of personal essays, this book offers an intimate look at the relative risks and unexpected rewards of queer, do-it-yourself baby-making, and the ways in which families are re-made in the process. With no clear models to follow, these new versions of the queer family are creating their own, addressing questions such as: What’s the difference between being a donor and being a parent? What happens to non-biological parents when a known donor is also part of the picture? When and how does biology count-or does it? Why do parents choose known donors, and what happens if things get ugly? And what does all this mean for queer families already facing extraordinary social pressures?
- By: Susan Goldberg
- Publication: Insomniac Press, 2010
- Available on Amazon.com
Legal Guide for Lesbian and Gay Couples
Helps LGBT couples take charge of their legal needs and take steps to define and protect their relationships and children. Addresses same-sex marriage and marriage-like relationships, property ownership, health care directives, estate planning, and parentage questions. With CD containing useful forms.
- By: Hayden Curry, Frederick Hertz, & Emily Doskow
- Publisher: Nolo Press (2007)
- Available at Amazon.com
The New Essential Guide to Lesbian Conception, Pregnancy, and Birth
Covers the latest information in insemination and fertility technology and is a thorough, practical guide to the physical and emotional stages of pre-conception, pregnancy and delivery for lesbian women and their partners.
- By: Stephanie Brill & Preston Sacks
- Publisher: Alyson Publications (2006)
- Available at Amazon.com
A Gay Couple’s Journey Through Surrogacy: Intended Fathers
A Gay Couple’s Journey Through Surrogacy reveals the author’s answers to these questions:
- why surrogacy over adoption?
- which type of surrogacy—traditional or gestational?
- what were the issues when choosing a surrogate?
- how much does surrogacy cost?
- what living expenses are included in the cost?
- what are the emotional and financial reasons that surrogates choose to bear another’s child?
- what are the pitfalls in choosing surrogacy?
- what are the legal issues—what to beware and what to consider
- By: Jerry Bigner
- Publisher: Routledge; 1 edition (April 30, 2006)
- Available at Amazon.com
Confessions of the Other Mother: Non-Biological Lesbian Moms Tell All
This candid peek into a previously unexamined side of lesbian parenting is full of stories that are sometimes humorous, sometimes moving, but at all times celebratory. Each parenting tale sheds light on the many facets of motherhood, offering gay and straight readers alike a deeper understanding of what it means to love and parent in the twenty-first century.
- By: Harlyn Aizley
- Publisher: Beacon Press (May 1, 2006)
- Available at Amazon.com
Lesbian and Gay Parenting
This publication is an excellent resource for lesbian and gay parents that includes up-to-date summary of research findings, APA amicus briefs and other resources.
- By: The American Psychological Association Committee on lesbian, gay & bisexual concerns, Committee on children, youth & families, and Committee on women in psychology
- Publisher: American Psychological Association (2005)
- Available through the American Psychological Association, Washington, D.C.
The Ultimate Guide to Pregnancy for Lesbians: How To Stay Sane and Care For Yourself from Preconception through Birth
A humorous and insightful guide written by a lesbian mother who herself used donor sperm to conceive.
- By: Rachel Pepper
- Publisher: Cleis Press 2005
- Available at Amazon.com
The Complete Lesbian and Gay Parenting Guide
Gay parenting is a productive and positive decision, but author and lesbian mother Arlene Lev admits it isn’t always an easy one. With practical wisdom and advice, and personal real-life stories, Lev prepares gay parents for this endeavor with everything they need to know and everything they can expect while making their own significant and challenging mark on family life in the 21st century.
- By: Arlene Istar Lev
- Publisher: Berkley Trade Paperback (2004)
- Available at Amazon.com
Gay Men Choosing Parenthood
Gay parenting is a topic on which almost everyone has an opinion but almost nobody has any facts. Here at last is a book based on a thorough review of the literature, as well as interviews with a pioneering group of men who in the 1980s chose to become fathers outside the boundaries of a heterosexual union―through foster care, adoption, and other kinship relationships.
- By: Gerald Mallon
- Publisher: Columbia University Press (January 7, 2004)
- Available at Amazon.com
The Lesbian Parenting Book: A Guide to Creating Families and Raising Children
Covers the “how-tos” of lesbian-headed households discussing many germane topics from conception to adoption, addressing homophobia in age-appropriate ways and dealing with a myriad of other societal and school issues.
- By: Merilee D. Clunis & Dorsey G. Green
- Publisher: Seal Press (2003)
- Available at Amazon.com
Single Mothers by Choice: A Guide for Single Women Who are Considering or Have Chosen Motherhood
The parents of two children conceived via donor insemination share their experiences & offer advice.
- By: Marie Mohler & Lacy Frazer
- Publisher: Harrington Park Press (2002)
- Available at Amazon.com
For Lesbian Parents: Your Guide to Having Your Family Grow Happy, Healthy and Proud
Raising a child is overwhelming, thrilling, exhausting, terrifying, and joyous–and all at the same time. In addition to the adjustments that any new parents must make, lesbian mothers face numerous special questions and concerns. From “coming out” to your child to coping with the pressures of trying to be a lesbian super-mom, this wise and reassuring book offers information and support for women forging a new path in what it means to be a family. The authors are uniquely qualified for the task as expert developmental psychologists who are also coparenting two young daughters. With clarity and wit, they offer helpful advice on what kids need to know, and at what age; how to help them respond to questions and teasing from peers; ways to foster sensitivity in relatives, teachers, and others; how to talk to teens about their own developing sexuality; how parenting affects couple relationships; and more. Chapters are packed with the insights and experiences of lesbians who have come to be parents in a variety of ways. Also included are listings of useful web sites, publications, and other resources.
- By: Suzanne Johnson
- Publisher: The Guilford Press (March 23, 2001)
- Available at Amazon.com
The Queer Parent’s Primer: A Lesbian and Gay Families’ Guide to Navigating Through a Straight World
Through examples and interactive exercises, a proactive, practical approach for dealing with the challenges of defining, protecting, and celebrating queer families is offered. Topics include creating a healthy family, coming out, finding culturally sensitive childcare and schools, and making decisions about spirituality and family celebrations. Also addressed are single parenting, breaking up, and the legal aspects of protecting GLB families.
- By: Stephanie Brill
- Publisher: Harbinger Publications (2001)
- Intended for Gay and Lesbian Families
- Available at Amazon.com
Donor Insemination Guide: Written by and For Lesbian Women
Mama Kate, Mama Jane, and Heather became a family using donor insemination. The was the first book published by Alyson Wonderland which has a number of books for and about children of lesbian and gay parents. 2000 is the updated edition.
- By: Leslea Newman & Diane Souza
- Publisher: Alyson Publications (2000)
- Available at Amazon.com
Love Makes a Family: Portraits of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Parents & Their Families
A collection of informal family portraits and interviews with lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) parents and their children grew out of a photo exhibit created by photographer Kaeser. Myriad family configurations are presented: gay and lesbian couples, divorced lesbians coparenting, single parents, transgendered parents, and stepparents and their children. From text accompanying the photographs, we learn who these people consider family and why as they speak about their feelings and experiences as part of an LGBT family. The interviews reveal many of the same joys and struggles as found in other families in addition to the challenges of being an LGBT family in a predominantly heterosexual world.
- By: Peggy Gillepsie, Kath Weston, Gigi Kaeser, & April Martin
- Publisher: University of Massachusetts Press (1999)
- Available at Amazon.com
Lesbians Raising Sons
Lesbians Raising Sons is an anthology of first-person writings examining the ideas of manhood, of motherhood, of lesbians raising male children in yesterday’s and today’s world. Divided into three segments, the book takes an unflinching and entirely new look at mothering: “New Lessons” examines the way in which sons of lesbians grow up to be different men; “Making a Family” looks at family constructs and “Facing Losses” reveals the heart-breaking reality that many women have had to confront when their families were threatened by homophobic courts and traditions.
- By: Jess Wells (Ed.)
- Publisher: Alyson Publications (1997)
- Available at Amazon.com
Reinventing the Family: Lesbian and Gay Parents
Examines many aspects of gay and lesbian parenting. Topics include experiences of gays and lesbian parents “coming out” of heterosexual marriages; legal developments in adoptions, foster care, and custody battles; artificial insemination; society’s view of parenting roles; children raised by gay and lesbian parents; and the influence of homophobia. The author’s research is combined with illustrative case studies
- By: Laura Benkov
- Publisher: Crown Trade Paperbacks (1995)
- Available at Amazon.com
The Lesbian and Gay Parenting Handbook: Creating and Raising Our Families
An affirming guide for lesbian and gay families.
- By: April Martin
- Publisher: Harper Perennial (1993)
- Available at Amazon.com
Gay Fathers: Encouraging the Hearts of Gay Dads and Their Families
Utilizing rich case examples, the authors examine the many faces and complexities of gay fatherhood, using narratives reported by gay fathers and their children.
- By: Robert L. Barrett & Bryan E. Robinson
- Publisher: Jossey Bass Books (1991)
- Available at Amazon.com
Families We Choose: Lesbians, Gays, and Kinship
In recent decades gay men and lesbians have increasingly portrayed themselves as people who seek not only to maintain ties with blood and adoptive relatives but also to establish families of their own. In Families We Choose, Kath Weston draws upon fieldwork and interviews to explore the ways gay men and lesbians are constructing their own notions of kinship by drawing on the symbolism of love, friendship, and biology. She presents interviewees’ stories of coming out and of their subsequent relations with straight families. She also discusses changes in gay communities that have helped shape contemporary discourse about the gay family. Finally, she addresses the political implications of chosen families.
- By: Kath Weston
- Publisher: Columbia University (1991)
- Available at Amazon.com
Considering Parenthood
A slightly dated yet user-friendly book that considers many dimensions of lesbian family building.
- By: Cheri Pies
- Publisher: Spinsters Ink (1988)
- Available at Amazon.com
We Are Everywhere: Writings by and About Lesbian Parents
Comprehensive accounts of experiences and challenges of lesbian parenthood. Delivers a number of unique accounts of the life of a lesbian mother.
- By: Harriet Alpert (Ed.)
- Publisher: The Crossing Press (1988)
- Available at Amazon.com
Politics of the Heart: A Lesbian Parenting Anthology
Compilation of Political, Moral, and Ethical Issues that Surround Lesbian Parenthood
- By: Sandra Pollack & Jeanne Vaughn (Eds.)
- Publisher: Firebrand Books (1987)
- Available at Amazon.com
Special thanks by Colleen Quinn to those who compiled before me:
- Dawn Davenport – Creating a Family. http://www.creatingafamily.org/
- Diane Hinson – Creative Family Connections, AAARTA Fellow. https://www.creativefamilyconnections.com/index.html
- The Education Committee, Spring 2007, of the Mental Health Professional Group of the American Society for Reproduction Medicine (ASRM): Kim Kluger-Bell, MFT, Chair, Jana Frances Fisher, Ph.D. Jennifer Adams, Ph.D. (based on the Children’s Bibliography compiled by Elaine Gordon, Phd, and Ellen Speyer, MFT)