If you are a parent considering making an adoption plan for your child, it is important for you to understand your rights and responsibilities as you begin the adoption process. Adoption laws vary from state to state, so all placing parents should speak with an attorney in order to understand how the adoption process will work.
Expectant mothers or parents who already given birth who are unsure about whether they want to raise a child oftentimes may contemplate an adoption plan. In Virginia, the adoption statutes use the terms “birth mother,” “birth father,” and “birth parent” – these terms are not intended in any way to be viewed negatively or as derogatory. Instead they have just been used for a long time in Virginia’s statutes. Placing mothers – and fathers as well- who contemplate an adoption plan almost always are putting the child’s best interests before all other interests and are to be highly commended. Expectant or placing parents ideally should seek thoroughly consider all of their options and may even seek counseling on all of their options before settling on an adoption plan. If placing the child for adoption seems to be the right course of action, then the next step is to review adoptive parent profiles to select an adoptive family that suits. We offer such guidance and the opportunity to review prospective adoptive parent profiles at no charge with the Adoption & Surrogacy Law Center.
Placing parents also often have lots of questions about the process. Here are answers to some common questions you may have:
- What type of adoption will this be? There are basically two types of adoptions: agency placements and independent placements. Independent placements also are called private, direct or parental placements. Most states allow both types of adoptions but a few states allow only agency placements. Unless the placement is in one of those few states that are agency only, the placing parent gets to choose what type of adoption he or she wants. Whether it is an independent placement or an agency placement, the placing parents generally can select the adoptive family of their choice.
- In an independent placement adoption, the placing parent or parents select the adoptive parents directly such as by viewing adoptive parent profiles at the Adoption & Surrogacy Law Center (or are connected through friends or relatives or by other networking means) and give legal and physical custody of the child directly to the adoptive parents. In other words, the placing parents give their consent to the adoption directly by the adoptive parents. In independent placement cases, typically the attorneys for the placing parents and the adoptive parents will manage the process. The services of an adoption agency are still used in an independent adoption to conduct a home study on the adoptive family and to provide counseling services to the placing parent(s).
- On the other hand, in an agency adoption, the agency manages the entire process and the placing parent or parents give legal and physical custody to the agency. In other words, the placing parents relinquish or entrust the child to the agency. The agency then typically gives temporary physical custody directly to the adoptive parents (so most of the time the placing parents still usually place the child directly with the selected adoptive family). However, the agency will keep legal custody for several months and monitor the adoptive family before the agency then consents to the adoption.
- How are the adoptive parents selected? If the placing parent chooses to contact the Adoption & Surrogacy Law Center, then we will show available prospective adoptive parent profiles or have the ability to obtain such profiles for throughout the United States. Likewise, an adoption agency often will show profiles of their waiting families to the placing parents. However, there are a variety of other ways to view adoptive parent profiles including there are quite a number of internet websites where prospective adoptive families can feature their profiles and be chosen directly by a placing parent. Placing parents also may find adoptive families by other various means including, but not limited to, finding adoptive families through social media sites, through family, friends, and colleagues, and even through newspaper ads and church bulletins.
- What laws will govern the adoption? This is a question that should be answered early on in the adoption process, so that a placing parent understands if he or she will be proceeding under the laws of their own state, or under the laws of the state where the adoptive parents live, or if it is an agency adoption then the state where the agency is located. Generally, a placing parent has the right to proceed under the laws of his or her own state, but may waive that right. Some reasons that placing parents may choose to waive their own state law may be because they prefer some of the procedures and protections afforded by the law of another state. For example, the other state may allow for signing an out-of-court consent rather than going to court to consent, or may allow for the payment of living expenses, or may provide for enforceable post-adoption continued contact agreements, among other things. Attorneys in all possible states should be consulted so that placing parents can understand which state’s laws best suit their needs and choose accordingly. In some cases, the applicable state law may not be optional.
- Whose consent is required, and how will it be executed? Prior to making an adoption plan, a placing parent needs to understand whose consent will be required in order for the adoption to successfully take place. In most cases, one biological or legal parent cannot unilaterally make an adoption plan for his or her child without considering how the rights of the other biological or legal parent will be addressed. In addition, state laws vary regarding how a consent (or entrustment or relinquishment) actually takes place. In some cases, one or both parents must go to court and consent before a judge; in other cases, a parent may be able to consent out of court before an attorney or social worker or notary. Placing fathers in many states can execute a consent or waiver or denial of paternity prior to a child’s birth, but no state currently allows a placing mother to give her consent (or entrustment or relinquishment) until after a child is born. For a parental placement in Virginia, a placing mother must wait until the child is at least three days old and then give her consent before a juvenile court judge. She then has seven days to revoke her consent (unless the child is at least ten days old and she has her own legal counsel, in which case she can waive the seven days to revoke).
- How long does a placing parent have to change their mind? Any placing parent may change his or her mind at any time before executing a consent (or entrustment or relinquishment), and in some cases, may be able change one’s mind even after having signed the document. Revocation periods are often a primary concern for both placing parents and adoptive parents. A “revocation period” refers to the amount of time that a placing parent has to take back or “revoke” a consent after executing it. Some consents are irrevocable upon signing – that means there is no revocation period. Other consents may be revoked simply by providing written notice of the revocation within a certain statutory period of time. Yet other consents may be revoked but only when certain conditions are met. Since the laws vary so greatly from state to state, it is important for a placing parent to speak to an attorney and understand what revocation rights are available before he or she executes a consent (or entrustment or relinquishment).
- Can a placing parent receive counseling? Yes, every state has licensed adoption agencies and social workers who can provide counseling and services to placing parents, both before an adoptive placement takes place, and after a consent (or entrustment or relinquishment) has been executed. Counseling is not always required, but it can be an important tool in helping placing parents to fully understand and think through the decision to place a child for adoption. In Virginia, counseling must be offered to the placing parent(s). Counseling also may help placing parents and adoptive parents work through issues such as the hospital plan, living expense assistance, and post-adoption communication and continued contact.
- Can the adoptive parents help me with my living expenses while I am pregnant? Most states allow for some living expense assistance to the placing mother, although in many cases certain requirements must be met. For example, some states require a judge’s approval and other states, such as Virginia, may require a doctor’s note certifying a placing mother out of work. Under no circumstances, however, should anyone be offering money to a placing parent in exchange for his or her consent to the adoption. It is important for all parties to consult with their attorneys before any living expenses are provided so that any payments or reimbursements are made fully in accordance with the law.
- Can the placing parents see the baby in the hospital? Yes, placing parents have a right to make a hospital plan and choose to either see, or not see, the child to be placed. It is often helpful for the parties or the attorneys to reach out to the hospital before a baby is due so that the staff can make sure that a placing parent’s hospital plan is followed as closely as possible.
- What happens after the adoption? Can I still get updates on the child? Can I visit? Open adoptions are becoming more and more commonplace, and, correspondingly, the majority of states, including Virginia, have developed laws that make post-adoption continued contact agreements enforceable by the courts. In those cases, the placing parents and the adoptive parents may agree to a level of post-adoption contact with which they are comfortable (ranging from occasional updates by mail or email or text or via Facebook, to actual in-person visits). In these states, including Virginia, the placing parents have the right to go to court to enforce those agreements even after the court has terminated their parental rights and the adoption has gone through. Even in those states where the law does not explicitly provide for these enforceable arrangements, the parties often still agree to informal open arrangements in good faith. In all cases, however, these agreements are always dependent on what is in the best interests of the child.